Reflection

Do you ever wonder how you are doing on your parenting journey? I do, quite often.I look at others around me, I compare myself to this person and that person. I think to myself, do I measure up? Then I realise when I feel empty and confused that I am looking to the wrong source for encouragement, confirmation, guidance and gentle whispers of truth. The world will weigh and measure me and always find me lacking, however when I remember to turn to the light for direction, I know who I am, how I've done and where I need to be headed.
I know that I am never compared to anyone else by my Heavenly Father and that his messages for me are so unique and personal that only He can give guidance on this journey I'm on.
Tomorrow my firstborn son is to be married, a prayer from my heart goes up to the heavens once more asking, have I prepared him well? Is he all that he needs to be at this point in his life to embark on the journey that lies ahead of him? Does he remember all the things that I have taught him? In response to my prayer comes whispers of love, and I know that although I am flawed and have made many mistakes, I have played with all the energy of the child within me, I have led with all the wisdom I have been blessed with, I have laughed with all the passion and wonder that raising such a pure child brings and I have LOVED with all my heart and soul and I am ready to send him on his way, albeit with a tear in my eye and a missing him in my heart but I know that the journey that lies ahead for us all will be filled with fun and laughter and new adventures yet unknown and I am grateful for all that has been and all that is and all that is yet to come.....

Thank You Fred!

What a great day, I borrowed the first in a series of books from a friend for my son to look at. They are math books, so with fear and trepidation I presented it to him this morning hoping that he would want to have a go. He has not wanted to have anything to do with math as he lost his confidence at school and it has been tough to get him to relax about it and have a go.
I sat down with him and we went through the first two chapters together, it was ok but not was I was hoping for as he was ready for a break. So I decided to prepare for my mum's arrival by cleaning the room she would be staying in and asked Jared to help. I let him know that we would be learning to clean a toilet. He said that would be fine.
He then obviously thought about it and asked if he could continue with the math book, Life of Fred, I agreed, hoping that this was the moment I had been working for all year....
As I was cleaning the most beautiful sound came from the lounge room, it was a burst of laughter, then another then a call to me to come and see! Wow I was thrilled and so was Jared. He loved this book and got right into the story. It is a very funny story and Jared could not put it down.
Day 1 of the Life of Fred, 3hrs of math, yipee!
Jared asked" Mum can I always have Fred teach me math?"
Mum " YES!!!!!!!" trying not to sound too over the top.
So all I have to say is thank you Fred, we love you.

Giving myself permission to dream .....

Well it's been sometime and I'm learning so much about myself at the moment. One thing I know for sure at this point in my life is that I have a mission here on earth and it is calling me from beyond the open gate.... I am more willing to listen now than ever before and am ready to say I deserve to dream, to think about my journey so far and to see that I can have a wonderfully fulfilling future. I have always been so ready to sacrifice whatever it takes for family and friends but sadly have not understood or accepted that I need to make the same sacrifices for me. 
We are all divine in nature, but I have to ask myself, do I really believe that Heavenly Father wants me to find my personal plan and have Joy in the journey along the way?
I have a strong testimony of who I am and whose I am, so why have I not yet treated this girl with greater kindness, compassion, acceptance and LOVE....
Today is the day it all changes, those who know me will understand that this is hard for me to say, my family will always always always be taken care of and yet I know that this gift to myself is really a gift to them. I want to leave a legacy of love to them so the time has come to say "Kindness begins with me".
We teach people how to treat us, likewise I have taught myself by my treatment of myself, how much I care about this daughter of Heavenly Father.I have been such a harsh critic, so impatient and have my body to keep on going no matter what. I will stop right now.
How exciting, I already feel a great deal of wonder just thinking about it. I know what I want to study, but there is so much beyond that, so much to think about. I know I would like to write a book, it scares me to say it out loud! What would my family think, do they know who I really am inside this body? Do they believe I can? Do they see the girl inside bursting with love for life?
Thank you to my mum who inspires me, who has shown me how to work hard and hold on. Thank you to my dad who has taught me to stand on my own two feet, to be courageous when faced with my worst fears. Thank you to my Heavenly Father who is teaching me, guiding me and beckoning me to find myself by fulfilling my mission on Earth. 
Here we go...I am Julia Marie...I know you're out there life, just waiting for me ...

A Spoonful of Sugar Helps The Medicine Go Down In the Most Delightful Way !

What a joy to discover that homeschooling is the sugar for a great education! We are on Day 3 and I can't believe that all the stress that I used to feel about school has gone. Jared and I are so happy with life and I'm so excited for the opportunity ahead of us to learn and grow together. I won't say why didn't I do this sooner as I believe there is a time and a season for everything.
We have started with memorization games, sewing a teddy bear and some math games.We plan on learning about North American animals, the world around us and Red Indians this term. We will visit museums and art galleries, its all very exciting.
There is so much to learn and so much I want teach teach Jared about life, our journey has begun and I am so deeply grateful ....